::eternity love::

for the past few months/weeks/days,, i’ve been searching fopr HIS forgiveness, i’ve been searching for where should i belongs, what should I do, who should I be.. 

at somes moment, i can feel that its the end of my journey to what is homo sapiens are racing to achieve in the world full of false hopes and faith. 

I forgets about looking pretty, looking good and stylish eventhough for sometimes I MISS THAT when I look back in the mirror.

 I ignored my obsessions about being shopaholic, collect as many shoes as I desired til my friends gets super shock when they see how many shoes that I hav, even though for sometimes I WANT IT BACK when I looked back at my old shoes collection just hanging there, or saved in a box covered wth dust that I hav. 

I forgets the joy of having a great times, the joy of experience the sweetness of a colourful rainbow and for some reasons, I feel that I lost the power of being a cheerful funny girl who crazy about colors and I REALLY SORRY for myself to knowing that I am not meant to be like “I used to be like this before” anymore when when i see all the pictures. 

It was at one glance I was thinking that no matter 

how much I MISS IT, 

how much I WANT IT BACK, 

how much I FELT SORRY for my lost, 

I just DONT NEED IT. 

It was at one point i feel that 

I have not much time to live in a fantacy world, 

I have not much time to dreams about some stupid shiny rocks, 

no more times to planning, programming, dreaming about what, who, where will I be in the future because for nowhere my gut is tellin me that 

I HAV NOT MUCH TIME.

then, i realize, live life to the fullest is not about winning the competitons among the human races, its not about taking granted for the past years you hav wasted, its not about do whatever it takes to create some joys, having gtreat times, always be on top and win the victory.

its about how u create you jorney till the end to the other side world.

its about what u choose, 

what did u have give, 

what hav u been taken,

and what did u fight for. 

and so, 

I am not giving up my dreams,

 loosing up my hope, 

coz i know the ETERNITY LOVE is there.

take it, or leave it?

live well or live hell?

written by;

me =)