i watch myself in the mirror. (chewah! speaking)
my skin is getting darker and dull. my hand look sooo harsh like im doing a heavy duty work. it doesnt look like a ladylike hand and fingers. all scars and scratch here and there all over my body. pale lips. dark circle eyes.
it has been a long time since the last time i took care my skin and body. doing facial, spa, massage, scrubing is sort of a daydream to me now. i couldnt have time to do all this thing. i need to walk, taking bus and walk again for almost 3km everyday. panas terik, hujan badai pun aku redah.
i am so tired and sick of walking and carrying heavy bags like 5 kilos everyday. i'm suffering for muscle pain because of this. most of all, it hurts my feelings more. like nobody could ever care for me. when it come to the most tired day in my life, i could cry and complaining so much. what hurt the most is i couldnt let it go everyday. it stress me out.
i didnt bum and fall asleep soon after getting home like others. there always work that need to be settle down first. i let my tiredness of walking and sweating be in the second place. doing laundry, tide up my bedroom all come first because at the end of the day, i dont have time to do it.
this is the reality of my life now. the reality of a bride to be. was it worth me???
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